How He Loves Us (I want to be like my Jesus)

Ever since I moved to Utah, God has been showing me how little I love people. If anyone were to go inside my head and listen to what is said as I look at people I have never even seen before, I would be mortified. I am a harsh critic and a judgmental person. Honestly, some people truly repulse me. Our small group is going through the book of John. When we came to chapter four, we were asked if we had any "Samaritans" in our lives. These are people that we despise for one reason or other. We avoid them and we esteem them as less than ourselves. I have so many "Samaritans" in my life that I never even bother to learn their name.

You've probably heard the new David Crowder Band song "How He Loves." I'm struck by the fact that God is not repulsed by ANYONE. Seriously? Anyone. There are no "Samaritans" with Him. The great I AM, the Holy, Holy, Holy God loves the person that makes me want to vomit.

I'm starting to have serious issues with the family I nanny for. The parents are in the middle of a heated custody battle and it's taking its toll on the kids. Two of the kids are in the junior high years (as if they didn't have enough to deal with) and the youngest has Downs Syndrome. She can't understand all the chaos around her. Any day now custody could change and I would no longer be in the kids lives. So much of me wants to stop investing in them and protect my heart. I spent most of last week flipping between disciplining and sobbing with the middle daughter. I am not one of those people that can let go of things easily, so even my sleep is being affected. I do love these kids, but I don't want to. It's draining and my lack of faith is screaming that this is an impossible situation. God reminded me of something I learned in the study "Believing God." Paul tells us that he is being poured out as a drink offering. That doesn't sound pleasant to me. It's the essence of draining. But Beth Moore stung me when she said, "what are you saving it for?" Do I have something better to do with my life than spend my passion, energy, time? If my heart isn't being poured out, it's getting stagnate. Protecting my heart is a sham. I'm going to cling to Mark 8:35.
Julie